[Nette321]

My husband was so excited about having our first baby before she got here and now it seems like he's backed away. I don't know if this is normal for men to do but it really makes me upset. I barely talk to my husband anymore because he's out keeping himself busy while I'm home with the baby all day long. When he is around he doesn't offer to hold her so I can shower or eat or do the laundry or anything like that. He'll eat, himself, and it's back outside doing more things to keep himself busy. He doesn't work because he's out on disability so he's usually in the garage doing something other than play with our daughter. If I want to go somewhere I have to take the baby because it seems like he doesn't want to be around us at all. I don't know if I'm over reacting or what but it makes me sad to think he's not in love with me anymore. (i'm probably over reacting and i'm pmsing right now too so it's not helping) Our daughter is 2 months old and the most time he's spent with her in one shot was just today when I went back to work for the first time since we had her and he watched her for about 4 hours. I'm honestly a nervous wreck when I'm not with her too. Not that I don't trust my husband but I feel like he won't know how to sooth her because he never spends time with her. I've had 2 months of bonding with her and he's had about 15 mins a day tops.

Does anyone know what I should do to help my husband realize that he's apart of this family too and he should bond with our daughter and not be afraid of us??? Or is this kind of thing normal until she gets a little older where it's not as scary to hold her cause she won't be as tiny?? Please comment!! I'm going insane!!!!

[cindi]

could be a size thing. i know josue is a little weirded out by lily. she's not even 2 weeks old and not even 6 lbs yet and he def. freaks out lol

[Carley=MummyOf4]

could be a size thing. i know josue is a little weirded out by lily. she's not even 2 weeks old and not even 6 lbs yet and he def. freaks out lol

yeah he could be scared of hurting her
just talk 2 hubby hun
rich was wary of josh when he was born, plus we were only young
dont worri hun, he's a bloke!

[Mandy1978]

My hubby was like this with our first child. We had an open discussion about it some weeks later and he said he was emotionally not ready yet. But that changed very quick after he was couragoues enough to hold our little son a couple of times.

Just give him a bit time and you will be fine

[holothuroidea]

I would say that his reaction is totally normal. It's probably not that he doesn't love you or the baby, maybe just that he's a little overwhelmed or doesn't know how to deal with the situation.

After all, he was probably expecting a child, a person, who you can interact with and instead he got some alien creature whose communication is so subtle he probably isn't picking up on it. The concept of "bonding" with the baby is probably completely foreign to him. Give it time, and tell him how you feel (especially about being worried about a lack of love in your relationship).

It will all work out, I'm sure.

<3

[MommyWray]

I understand completely how you feel. My husband was the same way (my daughter is also two months). The reason I say was is because I've talked to him about it and he's working on being more involved with her. He's doing very well.
But here's a little insight that my husband share with me as to why he wasn't really involved. He said it's because she's boring. She does nothing but eat, poop and sleep. She's no fun right now, he said, I'll spend more time with her when she's older. So, in order to get him more involved i constantly point out how much she's changing in the many ways that he takes for granted.
When I need to take a shower or do anything around the house. If the baby needs a diaper change or I need him to dress her. I don't wait for him to volunteer because trust me he won't. I simply bring her over to him and let him do that i also need to get things done.
I also give him a list of the new things she can do and I give him a chance to see if he can get her to do those things. For instance, my daughter has begun to imitate me. If i smile she'll smile, if i open my mouth in an o shape, she'll do the same and if i poke out my tongue she'll do that to.
Just take out a little family time. Just you, your husband and the baby. No phones, no television and just interact with the baby. make it a competition, who can get the baby to stare at them longer, who can get the baby to smile more often?
He'll be more involved. i guarantee it.
Good Luck!!

[PrettyN_Pink]

You just need to sit him down and just have a talk with him.
thats really the only way your going to find out whats wrong
with him. I hope everything works wout with your family

[Bounty2009]

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[Eva Rose]

Nothing to be too concerned about. Men often respond this way to newbies. They seem so small and fragile. My prediction is that he will be totally adjusted in a few months and all will be well!

Maternity Pregnancy

[digishank]

yes hun, dnt worry. he may be bit afraid that he will hurt un-intentionally to your precious gift from god.just talk to him and everything will be ok.

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